I continue to feel good. I have had no nausea or vomiting. I had some visitors this morning and had some down time till the evening. I am not sure I can say it feels real. I know I am in the hospital and all, but I still feel good. I am sure I will have my good days and bad days. So far they have been good. The doctor rounded and said I look good. He warned me that I will be getting moody with all of the meds. He told me to warn my husband and parents. So here is the warning: If I am angry or yelling just take what I am saying with a grain of salt. It is not me. Well those who really know me know I can be cranky at times, but from what I have heard this is worse. I am definitely not looking forward to it. It is just a bump in the road. I will beat this and go on to tell my story. How to get your APRN with ALL – catchy right?!
Tomorrow I am going to take my first test from the hospital. It was weird not being in class this week. The day of my first bone marrow aspiration I took a test prior to the procedure. There will be none of that for a while. I will not be venturing out much, expect for my trips to Smilow. I have already started to Christmas shop online. I am sure there are packages at my doorstep waiting for me! Although I love retail therapy, it is just not the same online.
I started reading a blog in the NY Times Well section (Life, Interrupted By: SULEIKA JAOUAD). It is written by a girl who was diagnosed with AML in her 20’s. She definitely has a degree in journalism or something because it is written so eloquently. She pretty much nails what I am going through on the head. Her journey is a bit different than mine but she describes what it is like being a young adult with cancer. You are caught somewhere in-between, not a child but still figuring out how to be an adult. She describes what it is like to almost be an outsider in your own life. I guess having cancer changes your perspective on things. My mom told me “You will be a changed person”. I already feel changed; my life was turned upside down in a matter of seconds. I asked Chris one night – How do you go back to “normal” life? I am told you find a new normal. So that is what we will do, we will find a new normal. We will take one day @ a time and continue along on this journey one foot in front of the other.
Till next time…KMS